I need to say less and listen more....Most times it really doesn't matter what I think.  Thinking is over rated.  Saying less and listening more is a skill that is tough to master.  Everyone is trying to figure out what is going on inside of them and how to relate to this world.  By saying less and listening more, you might provide the space that someone needs to feel and understand what they themselves need without another's interpretation. 

My interpretation of an event or experience in someone else's life could be dead wrong.  So just listening without thinking of a response could do wonders for another.  Or asking thoughtful questions instead of giving advise.  We can't change someone else's perceptions or expectations.  They can only do that for themselves.

We can say less and listen more for ourselves as well by just sitting, and letting thoughts come, and releasing the judgements that often come with the thoughts.  YOU DON'T HAVE TO MEDIATE, just find quiet and give yourself time to sit, especially if you WANT to meditate.  If you go, go, go all the time...This is a good place to start. 

Without judgements, we can become more accepting of what is and be OK with that. 

Good luck with the above practice.  I know I need to think about this often.

If you have any thoughts or insights to share, please comment below!  I would love to hear from you. 

Warmly,

Denise

To me it feels like my throat is closing, my heart is being compressed, and I can’t quite take a deep breath.  My head gets a little fuzzy and I get an ache in my neck on both sides. It really feels bad in my body.  It hurts my body.

That is a good thing to recognize.  What physical things does your body help you to identify when emotions are running high?

Frustration can come about when my expectations and perceptions are not in alignment with other’s expectations and perceptions.  Does it mean I am right and the other person is wrong or vice versa?  Not necessarily.  It just means that our points of view are very different. 

Noticing the tightness in my body and forcing myself to take a deep breath and move seems to help me deal with those feelings in my body.  Writing this blurb is helping me to deal with the fuzzy thoughts in my brain. 

How do you deal with those physical feelings that come up in your body?  Do you breathe?  Do you move?  Do you write?  Do you ignore them?  Just curious.  We all get signals from our bodies from time to time.  Do you listen to them?

For now I will breathe, and move, and write and be OK with my own thoughts and expectations of myself.  I will release my thoughts and expectations of others too, especially when it affects my body and mind.    

What feelings come to you, when your thoughts and expectations about a situation differs from others? And how do you handle it?  Please share in comments below!

I’ve been drawn to the concept of balance quite a bit of late. I know that when I feel I am in balance there’s something simply unstoppable about it. It’s as if nothing can get in the way of me and that which I hope to manifest. I have my eyes on the prize and I’m cruising mindfully along at full speed ahead. And then, there are the times when I seem to fall out of balance.

I’m not really sure what that means, per say, though the feeling is one which I hope to not consciously expose myself to with any great frequency. It’s almost like a hangover. When we wake up in that out of balance place and go “UGH! How did I let myself get here?!?”

And, I’ve been challenging myself to see this as a gift. Displayed on my refrigerator are images, quotes, and memorabilia which nourish me through daily reminders and support to “stay the course.” Among them is the Mary Oliver quote, “Someone I once loved gave me a box of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”

I find the funny thing with balance is that sometimes we have no idea how in or out of sync we may be until something shakes our world such that we are forced to stop and reflect. Denise, Leslie, and I were chatting the other day about placing the visualization of a swinging pendulum to this concept of balance. A pendulum is always moving. Though it appears to be in balance when hanging in the center, the pendulum will always be in a position of swaying, even if it’s just ever so slightly, to the right or to the left.

This past week marked the annual Cicacci Family Jersey Shore trip. Ahhh, the joys of family time! I love my family from the depths of my being with everything that I have. We are a very close bunch … And, they can push my buttons in a big way. I embarked upon this trip having set the intention to remain in a grounded, conscious state of presence with each passing breath. Overall, that served me quite well. However, no family vacation would be complete without the gift of a good challenge or two.

A series of triggering events provided me with the perfect opportunity to watch myself swing farther than I might have chosen away from my center. As I began to swing off center, although I was aware as it was happening, it became clear to me that I was not fully certain how to intervene in the most effective and efficient manner. My response in striving to swing back towards my center has been one worth noting. For, through reflection, I’ve been able to identify how I can and will proceed in facing similar challenge(s) next time. As you and I know both know, there very well may be a next time.

I’ve taken to the challenge of seeking clarity on what is most serving to my greater good, and ultimately the greater good for all those with whom I have contact. I am finding that this means exposing myself to the people, places, and things which prevent my pendulum from wavering too far off to the right or to the left.  
For me this includes a number of things. Above all else, I've identified that it means remaining with my breath at all times. It means staying pure and authentic in my relationships with both myself and those with whom I interact on a day-to-day basis. It means physically fueling myself with nourishment in the form of foods and drink which enable me to thrive, as well as providing myself with an adequate balance of rest and mindful movement and meditation daily.

For you, this will undoubtedly look very different. Alas, we are all humans moving through this life in our own ways. I hope that you may choose to acknowledge, and perhaps even soften to the fact that, sometimes the greatest gift of all is in experiencing those moments in which we feel off center, as they provide us with insight for which to return, with gratitude, back towards balance.

Here's to finding your balance within,
Josette

As I strive to integrate the teachings of the immersion that I just completed with my teacher from Martha’s Vineyard, Sherry Sidoti, I can’t help but reflect back to two years ago when I last attended a teacher’s immersion on island. It feels empowering to acknowledge the growth – physically, emotionally, and spiritually - which has evolved, and it is incredibly humbling to realize how much of my “stuff” is still so very present in my life. “Longing to be seen,” as Sherry rather matter of factly explained it. I am learning to accept the fact that when we create the space in our lives for ourselves to fully drop into the teachings, our “stuff” undeniably rears its head.

Through her teachings, Sherry shared of the subtle bodies of yogic philosophy - the different layers of the body which exist beyond one’s physical form. These bodies encompass the mental, emotional, spiritual, and ultimately, the soul bodies. It is only through addressing EACH layer that we may have the potential to truly find inner peace, contentment, and joy. Devoted practice to the asana (yoga poses) can be the catalyst in through the physical body to see what lies beneath this on a deeper level, that which is longing to be seen.

I am grateful to have provided myself with a few days on the island to decompress following this immersion to receive the fruitful riches of Martha’s land. I feel fully here, and fully open. Simple blessings have been finding me and from them I am sourcing strength for continued growth.

I’ve taken a few walks along one of my favorites beaches on the island, Lucy Vincent’s Beach. As I was drawn to particular rocks, I began to notice a trend. Each of the rocks which were catching my eye was some blending of white, black, and/or gray. Some of the rocks appeared to be white with black speckles and spots throughout, some black with white speckles and spots throughout, and some a complete marriage of the two, thus yielding a rock which appeared to be gray. (See photo)

As I walked further, I started to consider the fact that there was opportunity for learning from these rocks. Right before my eyes, Martha was delivering me with a message. In life there is darkness, and there is light … Always!!! Even when we are devout in our practice, there will be challenging days. Not one of us is exempt from this. Life is NOT always about happiness and sunshine. Acknowledging and accepting this can be pivotal in releasing our conditioned human response to achieve a sense of perfection which is never actually attainable, nor is it sustainable. What we DO have control over is how we choose to perceive that which life throws our way.

Some days life may feel generally light – like a white rock – with dark spots interspersed here and there, while some days life may feel generally dark – like a black rock – with only glimpses of light here and there. Other days may feel like a true mix of darkness and light – gray. As a human being who’s been granted embodiment in this physical form on our planet, I challenge you to decide how you will greet the gift of each passing day.

Our “stuff” may never fully go away. Gray moments, days, and sometimes even longer stretches of time are all a part of our journey. It is impossible to appreciate and fully experience pleasure, if you’ve not also faced trying times. Afterall, the tough moments show up only because they are longing to be seen. By choosing to face rather than to ignore and/or to distract ourselves from them, we can make conscious strides towards freedom from the control of that which they may have over us.

The practice of yoga seems to find us in the most pristine of times. Ancient yogic philosophy supports that which I feel blessed to be learning as my practice continues to evolve. Remaining dedicated to the practice and striving to commit to BE with the lows and the highs – both the darkness and the light – becomes more manageable. This awareness, has and continues to yield an increased ability to hear my true essence, the voice of the intuitive self, which speaks the loudest and the clearest when I remain steadfast in honoring alignment of the mind, body, and spirit. Some days through the asana, the physical body practice, and other days through stillness and breath. And that it is ok, too.  

With eyes wide open,
Josette