Uncharacteristically Quiet By: Denise Orsulak

Uncharacteristically quiet is how I would characterize my life since the pandemic started.  It’s a little strange to me that I have not been writing more.  My last blog post was in July 2020.  This is kind of unheard of for me. But I, like some of you, have been in a more contemplative place these past 10 months.

Now that it’s the new year, nothing much has changed.  Uneventfulness has become a comforting feeling.  The things that would normally occupy my time have changed significantly.  

In the past, my go to strategies for keeping busy have fallen to the wayside: blogging and writing, reading, or collaborating with other yoga teachers.  Why? I keep wondering. 

 think it’s the fact that my attention span has changed.  I don’t have the bandwidth or energy level that I normally would to categorize, focus, and prioritize prior to pandemic, and political and racial unrest.  AND I HAVE TO BE OK WITH IT. 

Easier said than done though.  I have noticed that little judging voice of mine coming out with statements like “You only finished one book in the last 10 months. What’s wrong with you?”  Or “you should be blogging more”.  Or “why can’t you follow through and get stuff done?”

When I look back though, I have done plenty of things this past year.  And I am sure you have as well if you look closely.  I focused more on my personal impact on the environment and have changed how and what I purchased to create less waste. I have created an online library of over 120 yoga classes. I started teaching Pilates chair lessons to students on an individual basis.  I have adapted in ways I never thought were possible this past year with work, home life, and leisure activities.  And you probably have as well.  My focus has been on simplifying, using and buying only what I need, and enjoying and celebrating everyday mundane activities that make up our life.  

How many rituals or routine have you had to change this year? For me, re-evaluating my end of year ritual was a big one. 

In December/early January, I usually look through my calendar month by month and write down anything significant that happened. I put all the information on one page so I can see what the past year looked like.  Most of the usual things that would be on there: like trips, or continuing education classes, or other accomplishments, were absent.  There was a whole lot of white space on that sheet of paper.  

So instead, I had to change my thinking and considering all the things that have been restricted in my work and personal life that I do not miss. By compiling a list of those things, I can create a reminder of what I can permanently let go of.  SO when things get back to “normal”, whatever that means now, I will consciously add in only the things that I missed the most and keep those things I didn’t miss or caused stress out for good.  

After that I usually look back at the work and personal goals I had documented last January and determine if I achieved my goals and which ones are worth continuing and which ones should be let go. 

Many goals I had hoped to achieve this year were left unfinished. Again having to feel ok about this fact was a practice.  I had to recognize there is resistance and uneasiness about setting goals for myself this year, considering we are still full force with co-vid and the continued uncertainty of life (which is always there by the way).

I do love the concrete feeling of seeing a list of goals written down.  My plan is to be more gentle with the process this year. I don't know when it will be completed.  But still want to challenge myself to put something down on paper even if the opportunities for fulfilling them are not available.  Goals always change and evolve anyway.  This is not a static process. Those last couple of sentences are a good reminder to me.  

What activities or things will you let go of forever moving forward? How are you doing with setting your goals for the new year?  Have you been able to let go of your usual mark of progress or success in your life if Co-vid has interfered?  Share in the comment section.

SO for now, look at me, I started writing again.  I hope you continue to be well and find a way to thrive in this topsy-turvy world.

Love,
​
Denise