I have no voice! By: Denise Orsulak

Literally I have no voice.  I have been fighting some weird head cold sore throat thing all week.  And now I cannot talk.  I’m sitting at home alone and am quiet.  Now normally I don’t talk to myself when I am home alone and you would think that this would be no big deal, but the fact that I have no voice whatsoever make it feel even more quite in my mind because  I know I can’t speak even if I wanted to.

Trust me I usually have plenty to say.  And this year was my time to listen more and talk less.  Now I am maybe regretting that I said that all to you in an early post (feel free to go back and read that one from 10/28/15). 

This week I have had to put into place everything that I was working on and thinking about doing this year: asking for help more, accepting help when it is offered to me, speaking less,  listening more, speaking my truth, holding a space for others to do the same, and the big one for me-working on boundaries. 

It’s one thing to think about or talk about all the things you want to work on in your life.  It’s a completely other thing to actually do it!   This week alone I have had to do all those things and let me tell you even though I cannot speak, it has been so difficult to surrender to the reality and actually just accept those facts.

I am realizing how lucky I am that I can normally speak freely.  Not everyone can.  I am so grateful for my voice and have been neglecting what that means for me.  To speak your truth is the only way to live.  Speaking truth can be scary.  It’s all about showing your true self to the world and who knows how the world will react to you.  Maybe it’s even scarier for us to deny ourselves the ability to be true to who we really are. 

This has been an uncomfortable week for me.  Both physically and emotionally, but it’s ok. I say that all the time in yoga class.  It’s Ok to be uncomfortable.  In the moments when we hang in with the discomfort on our yoga mats or in our life, we are giving ourselves the opportunity to expand our minds, reach new heights, and learn something new. 

I have a new appreciation for my voice and plan to use it wisely when it returns.

What have you been talking about but need to take action on?  What has been making you uncomfortable lately? How will you grow?

Be well and feel free to share your thought below!

Namaste,
Denise