At retreat in the beginning of May, we opened with poem about a man who was drowning, not waving.
I've been thinking about that poem a lot today. Am I drowning and don't even know it? I can see the shore, so I must be Ok, right? The light is at the end of the tunnel! I've been crossing off days off the calendar, just trudging along. Is that the way I want to live?
I'm thinking NO! This is yet another learning opportunity that has been put in my path. But what am I supposed to learn? I'm not so sure at this moment.
I had 2 people who are close to me in the last week ask me if there was something they did or didn't do to me that has made me distant or not approachable to them. I find this fascinating. Of course, I should know better than anyone that energy travels. And my energy has been really off lately. There is a long laundry list of things I could list, but that really doesn't matter much. But it does affect others. I am happy that these 2 individuals had the courage to say something to me because I had no idea they felt what the felt.
Sometimes it's better to say nothing to take a little space especially if you can't verbalize what is wrong. I need to sit with what's happening in my body and mind, and learn and try to figure things out on my own. Both had offered me help, but sometimes there is no way to help. Sometime time and space is what a person needs. And those closet to them might get the wrong idea. It's me not you.
Asking if something is up when you are unsure of a person's intention is like a breath of fresh air. Wires get crossed, energy gets depleted, silence is golden. It's a complicated process being in real relationships. But the ups and downs that come are what relationships are all about.
You might not know it, but the person you are getting those vibes from might be drowning in their own stuff. When we get to that place of stuff coming up and threatening to drown us, sometime we do need to reach out for that lifeline that someone else is offering, sometimes we need to go with the flow of the current and not fight against it to stop drowning, sometimes we need to learn a new skill or technique to swim safely to shore.
I'd bet that 99% of the time it has nothing to do with you...asking and clarifying is an excellent way for you not to get swept away by the current too!
This blog is a reflection of things going on my life and the world around us. Through yoga we always try to look at things in a different light!