Over the summer, I had decided to catch up on some chores that had not been done in years.  Years of living in my wonderful house.  There are some chores that take up A LOT of time, but you don't realize it until you get started.  

One of those chores on this particular day was power washing my pool deck.  I don't recall doing it once in the 8 years that I had lived in my home.  It seemed fine.  I didn't think it was that bad, until I got started. 

WOW!  

The accumulation of dirt and debris was unbelievable.  This was going to be a bigger task than I first thought.  So I decide to take my time.  Only 1-2 hours a day instead of tackling the whole things at once.  

I realized a couple of things that week.

1. Until you give your utmost attention to anything, you don't really know what you will discover

2.   The work became something to look forward to...it was a meditative time to feel water splashing on my feet, to pay close attention to detail so I wouldn't miss a spot, to feel a sense of accomplishment....seeing the difference my work made (see photo).

3.  I realized I could compare my pool deck to people's lives, bodies, and emotions.  Sometime we don't realize what "stuff" is accumulating in our hearts, bodies, and minds because it's such a slow process over time.  That pool deck didn't get layer and layer of dirt on it overnight.  It took years and years of neglect for it to get to the point that is was at that moment.  

Our hearts, bodies, and mind are sometimes neglected for years and years as well.  And we don't notice the those things that can build up inside of us ...fear, anger, despair, sadness.  All the things that can't be seen until you start to pay attention, until you do something about it.  

We need a power washer to rid those things within us.  My power washer for my life has been yoga, meditation, and contemplation.   Just like I took a week to clean the pool deck, I have taken many years to add practices and refine them.  If I jumped all into those things at once, I might have just walked away before I noticed a difference.  

You can wash away those cumulative hurts, but it takes time and the right tool.  For my pool deck, it was a power washer.

For your hear, mind, or spirit, it might be mindfulness, yoga, meditation, contemplation, therapy, self study or some other tool, but you need a tool.

It's only when we "know" there is an accumulation of ________(you fill in the blank).  When we stop and decide to work on it.  Can you see just how tarnished you felt.  Can you see it's there?  Can you say Oh yeah, that's a problem for me.  Then we can start to work to rise all that "stuff" away that is maybe holding us back or making us feel like we aren't who we really are.  

Because under that "dirt" is a bright light, an amazing person that wants to shine through.  That's been there all along.  

What techniques or tools do  you use in your life to wash away anything your body, mind, or soul doesn't need?

Share below so we can all learn from each other!

Did I mention, this takes time, patience, and persistence, and paying really close attention to what's pulling you away from the present moment.

Namaste.  The light in me honor the light in you!

​Denise

I love the time around New Years. It reminds me to look back at the past year to see what felt great in my life and what was just meh or downright awful.
 
I look through my calendar day by day "to see" where my time, money, and attention was spent. This is done while having a written list of my personal values close by to see if I have been true to myself or not.
 
I must do this to remember. I forget so many things good and not so good. I think we tend to remember the not so good things more than the good. So, a reflection on the past, helps to plan your future. And focus on the good and the progress and growth that happens in a year and maybe even in several years.
 
This past year brought me:
 
To a new yoga space, one that is filled with warmth (literally from radiant floor heat) and so many new friends I have met through our community.
 
To meeting so many new professionals talking about Yoga Therapy, to Tai Chi, to meditation.
 
To being awarded a mentor pin from my 15-year-old son who received his Eagle Scout Award.
 
To paying extra close attention to my body and building strength to help alleviate back pain I had been experiencing for some time.
 
To starting an "exercise class" Core Strength and Balance that was new to me teaching that has been so much fun and helpful in keeping me motivated to do core strengthening.
 
To letting go of the things that were not enriching my life.
 
To letting go of relationships that didn't sync up with my personal values.
 
What was missing in 2018?
 
Education...The stuff that keeps my creativity flowing and time away to give me space from my day to day.
 
I realized in my year review that I had been putting off some course that I have been wanting to take for some time now. I love to take courses and to learn new things and ways to help myself and my clients as well.
 
For example, I had been looking at this Life Coaching Course at a local community college for more than the last year, but it's only on Saturdays and Saturdays are busy with my family and I teach yoga on Saturdays. Case in point....there will never be a good time to take this course, AND I signed up for it New Year's Day and I will not be able to teach my Saturday Class and I will miss a Gymnastics and Swim meet, AND it will be just fine when I explain that all to my students and family members.
 
SO, I registered, and I can't wait to attend!
 
Other exciting opportunities that I already scheduled? A weekend in a Tiny House to give it a go, a sports medicine class in Boston that will keep my young gymnast her healthiest, A myofascial release course that's been on my to do for 10 years!
 
How many people have you heard I'll do that when...I am on vacation, or when my kids are older, or some other time in the future? That when might never come.
 
I say listen to your heart and start today. Make the time for what's important to you. Write those things on the calendar before your calendar gets filled up with all the other things to do.
 
I encourage you to look at your calendar and see what you did last year and see what is calling you and challenge yourself to follow the call...Make it work somehow. Don't wait to learn and grow. Do it now. Ask for help. Take baby steps to design the life you want to live.
 
Happy New Year! And let us know what it is that you have been drawn to doing.... writing a book, learning an instrument, painting, starting an exercise program, switching jobs, spending more time with family, traveling adventures?
 
With Love,
 
Denise

When I first heard this questions, I thought it was the best.  It can apply to anything new that might be happening in our lives or it might apply when we know we need to make a change but we just don't know where to start.

Fear can be so paralyzing at times, that we do nothing for so long, while longing for something different to happen.  

We get stuck and stick with what we know even though, something better might be just around the corner.  

You have to want something more than you are afraid of it to make a change.

Want to live a less busy life?
Want to lose weight or get in shape?  
Want a new job or start your own business?
Want a better relationship with your spouse or children?

YOU can improve your situation, most of the time, but a lot of people are afraid.  They get stuck.  They don't know what to do, so they do nothing at all.

If you are in this predicament at the moment, I think you should ask yourself this question: 

Do I want it more than I am afraid of it?

And then...
Really think about it. 

And then ask...
Am I stuck?

And really think about that too. 

And then ask yourself:

What is the one things I can do that is different than what I am doing now to make that change happen?

Sometime I like to throw in one more questions:

What's the worst thing that would happen if I followed this through?

My mind gives some fantastical stories.  Then I  have to ask:

Are they true?...most times they are not.  And that helps to give me perspective.

What do you want more than you are afraid of?  Is there something in your life right now you want to change? What's worse doing the same thing over and over again or getting a little uncomfortable with change? What do you have to do to live a life you want to live? How will you start making small changes to make it happen?

Share in the comment section below so we can all learn from one another!

Here's to asking the right questions!

Love,

Denise

I have been feeling a little angry this week.  Angry about "the world" not seeing the big picture anymore.  And also feeling ALONE in my thinking.  

Why do we get so hyper-focused in the things we do?  Why can't we remember what is really important...the essence of all things and activities?

I'll give you two examples:

1) My son will be entering high school next year.  At the parent orientation the school talked the good talk about our kids having a balanced course schedule, but  it felt insincere to me.  The voice in my head was shouting "liar liar pants on fire."

When thinking about school, some people are focused just on the grades and on the college and on setting a kids up for success in life and I say wait a sec...slow down.  What's the purpose of school?  What's the essence of that experience for yourself or your children?  

It's not about how many AP courses you can jam into your schedule or about his weighted ranking. I see this thinking as a direct flight to stress and anxiety.

The essence of school is to figuring out what my son might like to, how he can contribute in this world, what might be his purpose, how to be independent, how to make tough decision, how to find out what he values, and to make mistakes that he can learn from. 

Maybe it's OK not to take one more AP class, or get a bad grade, or not turn in an assignment.  In the big picture, does this really matter?  And why do we get so worked up about it?  Do we really have to micromanage our children or anyone else for that matter?

2) My daughter was getting an assessment for softball so she could be ranked for a draft.  I was very conflicted about this process.  She was in 5th grade for god's sake.  Anyway, while sitting there, I over heard a man who was going to be a coach say.  "I don't mind coaching a team as long as I get a couple of bats and pitches."  This made me so fired up.  Again 3rd-5th graders we are talking about, not major league professional athletes.  I would never want this guy to coach my kid.  He's not understanding the essence of kids sports, he is just worried about "bats and pitches", not about my kid.

What is the essence of kids sports? It's NOT about being ranked #1; to win, win, win.  It's for kids to learn to persist, to find the value in practice, to interact with their peers and learn sportsmanship within their own team and between the teams they play.  It's to work hard and keep trying when you are having a bad day and things are tough and not going your way.

I wish that we would stop more in order to shift our perspective. Taking a little time, would help us to remember the essence of things, to boil down those activities that we do every day, so we can get to the core of the matter.

Maybe you can look at something that you do in your life and re-think the why of it? Maybe taking that time will give you a different perspective?  Maybe we would all have a little less stress and more joy if we lived this way....JUST MAYBE....

What do you think?  Can you think of any other examples of when or where these principles can be applied to your life? Or when there are other times you might forget the big picture?  

Please share below so we can all learn from each other.

Warmly,

​Denise

I had 2 opportunities to play ball inside with my daughter this month. It was precarious. Things could have been broken, but it was worth the risk. Our relationship was strengthened. That is more important than ANY THING I own.

The first time we played ball, it was totally for her. It was cold and raining and she had softball evaluations later that day. So we played inside. It was fun and spontaneous.

On the second occasion it was for me.  I bought a volleyball.  I love/loved volleyball and had not played in so many years. My daughter choose one for me at the store.  It was so colorful.  She happened to pick it up, for a few minutes, I had fun, I  had some play time, and was able to teach her a couple of things.

Did you noticed I mentioned fun 2x already?  FUN IS GOOD. FUN CAN BE SPONTANEOUS.  Fun can happen indoors on rainy days for short or long periods of time.

Making time for "playing ball", being spontaneous even when conditions are not ideal is really important in my opinion. You can play in so many ways.  Maybe it's not ball in the house.  Maybe it's a video tournament with your kids.  Maybe you can make a masterpiece.  

Fun in important in life.  It renews our energy.  It connects us to each other, perhaps a spouse, friend, child, or parent.  So if FUN knocks on your door in a way that's not practical-Like when it's raining and you might break something.  I challenge you to take that risk. To jump in and have spontaneous fun.  Build your energy and make connections.

My advice Play ball inside! I think you might see that it was worth it!

How do you play ball inside?  Have you had a recent experience that you can relate this to?  Please share below in the comments your thought and examples, so we all can learn from each other.

​Maybe you will be more open to doing so if the experience comes your way.

With love,

Denise

"Commitment is an agreement or pledge to do something in the future."  When I looked up the meaning, it kind of made me pause.  
​
In yoga, we tell you to focus on the present on the here and now.  So for a commitment to stand you have to look to the future and make a promise that you will do it.

I see priorities shifting in people's schedule all the time (myself included). Often we commit to something, we change our mind, try again, again something comes up.  I see this in some of my student's yoga practice as well.  There can always be something better to do, than what you have planned today. I guess that's the problem with the future and the difficulty with commitment.  

A pledge is a binding promise or agreement.  We will keep our pledges to others but will quickly break a pledge to ourselves.  Why do so many people break their commitment or pledge to take care of themselves?  As a wellness professional, I find this very heartbreaking because in the long run I know there will be pain and suffering that comes with that.

In general, we know what will help us to stay healthy and to be happy, but there is this pressure to do other things: work things, family things, house things, many things that interfere with our commitments to our health and well being. 

Don't you function better when you are healthy and happy?

We have yoga students and bodywork clients who are just rock solid with their commitment to show up at a class or make regular appointments to take care of their bodies. When I asked them what their driving force was, here are some replies:

"I know what it feels like to be in pain from and injury and never ever wanting to experience that again, so I put my workout and bodywork appointments in my calendar. It keep me focused on my health."-AW

"This is the one thing I do for myself and it always makes me feel better after I get a session.  I work so hard all the other time  of the week."-EY

"Life is no different for me than everyone else: I'm busy and over-committed between work, family, and a myriad of other responsibilities.  I make time for yoga and taking care of myself because it's some of the best time I spend all week and it gives me the energy I need to meet other commitments,  Yoga is an essential part of my life." -FA

"I'm a busy professional and father and experience a lot of stress and time demands.  Monthly Thai sessions are an oasis in an other wise crazy life.  The sessions help me to manage emotional stress, physical aches and pains, and generally a reset of my mind, body and spirit." -PM

Personally, when I turned 40, I committed to a monthly bodywork session.  It has helped me to manage so many things.  I look forward to my monthly sessions.  I always, always book my next session because if I do not, I won't necessarily have the open space in my schedule when I need some healing work.  I have been doing this for my yoga practice as well.  Scheduling a class with the same teacher each week has been a good practice for me.  Even though I can do yoga on my own at home.  Having someone guide me and to give me something else to think about during class has been invaluable.

Committing to health and well being makes the rest of your life run more smoothly.  Even though it's hard to keep those commitments to yourself, it's so worth it in the end.  You often do get the immediate results of this.  It might not even seem to be making a difference until you stop doing it.  And there will always to the temptation to stop because life happens.  BUT you can recommit at anytime.  So if you have let your well-being take a back seat, I urge you to recommit today.

Sign up and pay for a weekly yoga or meditation class now.  Stick with a day and a certain teacher. After 8 weeks, you might have a new healthy habit that fuels and energizes and focuses you enough to do all the other commitments you have. The practice might also make it clearer that some commitments that are not serving you need to go.

Get a monthly or bimonthly bodywork sessions when you stick with a specific body worker or massage therapist, they get to know your bodies quirks and can help you navigate your habits that might be causing you dysfunction, stress, or strain in your body.

If you are committed to a wellness practice, share your why below!  Perhaps you will inspire other to re-commit to their health and well-being too!

Love,

Denise

I am feeling the pull of despair in my throat and heart.
Both seem to be sinking.  

An invisible pull downward and inward perhaps with suffering and sorrow.

And it’s OK.
It’s Ok to notice and feel.
It’s OK to be worried and anxious.

It’s all OK.  I tell myself again.

Everyone feels this way sometimes.

I sit and I notice.
I take deep breaths and sigh.
I know this too shall pass.

So I write and think and do what I can and have energy for and I rest and take the time I need to build back up again for I am always whole, no matter what thoughts pass through my mind or what feelings want to tug me under.

I am whole and so are you…

Remember this with all your heart and soul.

When I share my truth, the heaviness lifts.

Thank You for listening and hearing me without fixing it.

When I move my body the cord begins to soften, the grip is not so tight.

There is a lightness just around the corner in my heart if I notice and allow….

I wrote this last November, but have been feeling this way again the last few days.   This happens from time to time.  We all have dark days.  It's impossible not to. 

Holidays are hard for me sometime and maybe they are hard for you too.  Holidays bring the past and future to us.  They pull us out of the present quite a bit.  Anticipation comes: what to eat, who to buy for, how you will spend your precious hours off?  Who will you visit and when?  Juggling.  Bending.  Compromising.  Sometime pretending.  

So again I noticed and allowed.  I felt it and those feelings sucked.  I told someone my feelings they didn't try to fix it and I was grateful.  And again the darkness started to lift.  

Can you notice and allow? Can you find someone to share these feelings with? What might help you get to that place where you can notice and allow?

Please share your thoughts and comments below so we can all learn from each other!

With love,

Denise

I'll never be a Lifetime Fitness Center.  It's a fact.  Pure and Simple.  Over the summer, Lifetime Fitness came to town.  Being a small business owner, was I worried.  At first, not really. I didn't think anything about it.  I was happy, content, and confident about what I was offering at Balanced for Life Yoga.  We have grown so much in our 3 years of business.  The studio feels like home to me and for many of our students as well.  I know what we offer at Balanced for Life Yoga Therapy is different than what you get at a big chain. 

We have:
Unique programs and experiences
A teaching staff with so many varied skills and styles
A small a caring community
A wanting to bring people together
A willingness to get to know our students on a deeper level 

BUT then I got nervous! I started to hear chatter at other local yoga studios, or people who worked at the Y, saying they noticed a decline in attendance in their spaces.  Then various students of ours mentioned about "all my friends just joined Lifetime" or "several of our yoga teachers are teaching there now". 

Bigger is better thinking can undermine everything we do.  (If you let it!)

I had to stop myself and reflect.  I'll never be a Lifetime is true, but I never really want to be either.  I'm OK being the little guy, doing my part in the way I am.  It's OK to have my little space and to grow organically.  Not forcing myself to be something I am not.  

I am grateful for my yoga community.  I am grateful for my space that holds 8 students.  I am grateful for our regular teachers (Josette, Leslie, Mindie, Jen, Allie, Molly, Daria) and those who have been our guests.  Because I am grateful for being able to also hold space for those who join us.  I see people change, sometimes it is gradually over time, sometimes it's like a lights switch has been turned on.  It's like I am a witness to little miracles every day.  

I've seen people get help for their demons that have been haunting them, letting go of past hurts from childhood, change from having so many anxieties and fears to becoming confident and calm, to ask for support when they would have done it alone, and so many other things that seem small, but are not at all.  I am so grateful for being able to witness all these miracles.  

There is a place for bigger.  There is a place for all the Lifetimes, and there is definitely a place for all the small places like Balanced for Life Yoga, that don't ever want to be big.  Bigger isn't better.  It's just different.

With 3 years of Balanced for Life Yoga in the books, I am just hoping that we can continue to provide a community, with caring and connected teachers, in a relaxed and intimate atmosphere where our clients and teachers can feel safe, heard, and be themselves without judgement.

Do you ever feel pressured to be or do more?  Share below so we can all learn from each other!

Thanks to you!

Warmly,

Denise


​

Recently, I decided to give myself a 24 hour respite to Cape May, NJ. On the drive there, I made a decision.  Drive in silence.  No radio, no GPS.  Two and a half hours should be a cakewalk, right?

Not so...I notice my attention being drawn back to the radio nob again and again.  Maybe I should use the GPS, then I will have some company.

But after a while, I started to settle.  I was in no hurry.  So what if I got a little lost.  I started to notice so many more details with out the distraction of those things I usually have on in the background when I am driving.  

A sign in a small town painted on the side of a barn read "The grass is greener here".

How interesting I think.  I notice all the small abandoned homes covered in moss, crumbling steps and all.  I wonder why are there so many?  I am tempted to stop my car and look around.  What has become of the inhabitants that once lived here?

I notice that I do not trust my instincts.  Maybe I will just look at the map on my phone and see where I am and how much longer until I get there.  Where am I headed? Not trusting I will find the way without outside help.

WOW what a realization! Not trusting that I will find the way without outside help.

As I write that sentence I am drawn to the fact that I might do this in real life more often than I care to admit.  Doubting my inner GPS in favor of a shinier, more technologically advanced version.  

Perhaps yours, but definitely my inner intuition gets fuzzy, staticy at times just like a radio station might get between towns.  

How do we tune in?  How do we start to believe that the static that comes across our radio waves, our inner GPS, will disapate? So that we will hear the music of our own lives coming in loud and clear?

I am a work in progress.  Constantly noticing things about myself.  Trying desparately to trust the inner guidance system within me even when the signal is fuzzy.

The silence might be tough, but it is so necessary.  When I take it in, experience it, and live it for a little while, the signal within gets stronger.  It's like a new cell phone tower was placed close by to make the communication stronger, clearer, and louder without the static.

Find you quite place...maybe you have no choice but to change your routine to get it.  Maybe you need to get out of town like I did.  Maybe you can drive without the radio or GPS.  

We all need that quiet time no matter how tough it is or how scary it is to you.  It's time to forget the fancy gadgets, and what everyone else thinks and says we should do.  

Tune into silence, connect to your inner guidance system.  You might be surprised at what comes through!

Do you take time for silence now?  Why or Why Not?  If not, what is holding you back?  Please share a comment below, like this blog, or share on FB, so we can all learn from each other.

With love,

Denise

But there are many days that I don't.  The word that is going through my head at the moment is CHAOS.

This is a far cry from what my 2 words for the year are supposed to be...Relaxed and Easy.

Now chaos is a little funny and a little sneaky...you've been doing and feeling great, relaxed, and easy and then bang, you are not.

You might not be able to find something(my computer for work) that you know you were using the night before.  Piles maybe everywhere in your home and there is no food in the fridge.

You think to yourself "How the heck did I get here?"

I tried to prevent the chaos in the beginning of the week.  I realized I had too many things on my schedule. And that my husband was going to be away for work.  I did some rearranging.  I cancelled a meeting.  I was proactive. But it wasn't enough.

Realizing that the week was going to get messy and taking the steps to ease that fell short. 

I could have...

• Asked my kids for more help
• Planned meals ahead of time
• Noticed that I had 2 extra special event commitments for work 

But I didn't and that's OK.  I realized what I could have done.

And I did have right now, I realized. 

I did decide....

• To take a bath
• To watch a motivational video
• That to regain my sanity I had to do one task at a time in my home

So that is how I preceded.  I set a timer for 30 minutes and did the first thing that I noticed.  Washed the dishes until I was done.  Then I wiped down the counters and put the stuff away.  Then I ran the sweeper.   When that 30 minutes was up, I took a break for 10 minutes and wrote, then I went back to work...just progressing with one task at a time...

By the end, my house was straightened up, I found my computer for work, and I had more energy than I thought I would.

Guess what?  I'm not perfect and neither are you.  I'm doing the best I can and that is OK.

Noticing and learning to create a relaxed and easy life this year, might not be easy after all.

It comes down to noticing, being proactive, making sense of what I NEED to have the life I WANT, and making blunders, having chaos, and learning from it all and moving forward from all the messes I have created consciously and unconsciously.

Was it worth taking the bath and writing breaks in the mist of chaos?  You betcha!

I hope you address chaos in your life with kindness and compassion to your self and others.  Feel free to share how you cope below so we can all learn from each other!

Love,

Denise

(Written Feb 2017)

When you are used to being tightly scheduled, it might be difficult to settle in when you have all the time in the world.  It's tough to be OK with not going, going, going all the time.

It might be difficult deciding what to do.  I usually do not have the luxury of open space in my calendar to decide what to do next.  I know that is my own fault.  It's my choice to keep the schedule I keep.  It would seem strange not to.  Doesn't everyone else do the same thing I do?

When my schedule is packed, I DO NOT HAVE TO CHOOSE.  I don't necessarily have to think and feel.  I  can just keep going mindlessly from one thing to the next.  

​By decreasing what's on my schedule maybe I will get a better understanding of what I love to do.

Check out How to Under Calendar at Be More one of my favorite Blogs Be More with Less by Courtney Carver at the link below:
​
 https://bemorewithless.com/under-calendar/ 

What happen to you when there is space in your calendar?  Do you rush to fill it?  Afraid you will get board? Do you wonder what to do next?

In this particular instance for me, I chose to read and in reading, and in reading this sentence popped out for me.  

"Even small casual things take significance if they are washed in space" from A Gift from The Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh.

Wow, Anne Morrow Lindbergh has read my mind.  

Maybe you will pick up A Gift from The Sea and explore space and time in your calendar.

I challenge you to not fill in the space as it becomes available in your calendar or even get rid of a thing or two that is already on there.  Maybe you will get the opportunity to see the significance in those everyday small things that we do.

Do you think you can do this?  What would be the most difficult part of creating space for you?  Share in the comments section below so we can all learn from each other, and like and share this blog post so others might ponder their use of their calendar.

With love,

Denise

I recently had a "light bulb" moment.  It was a series of interactions that lead up to the actual "A-HA"!  You know that feeling when you actually fell lighter, like something secret was revealed to you.  A feeling that something finally sank in deeply in your mind.  It could be a little a-ha or something life changing. 

I love these moments of clarity.  It's like little messages from the heavens being revealed to me.  The problem I noted was that I quickly "forgot" all about the a-ha as my day progressed.  It actually didn't take  much time at all for the a-ha to get so dim that I had to really think to get it back.

If we don't focus on the light bulb moment when it comes and continue with the everyday stuff that needs to be done, it starts to burn out, so much so that  you might loose that light all together. 

If you had this happen to you, I would love to hear about it.  OR if you manage to hold onto those moments, HOW do you do it?

I guess I never notice how quickly these moments can fade.  For me that realization was kind of scary.  I do tend to write a lot when things affect me.  (As you can see with this blog). But for some reason this morning I did not.  Maybe I was too into what I had to get done.  Maybe I had family obligations to take care of at the moment. 

If we don't focus on those insights that come to us even in not the best of times.  We might miss out on an opportunity to get to know how we tick, why we are doing the things we are doing, and maybe how to make our lives better. 

My advice to you and myself is to take a little time no matter what is going on during that light bulb moment.  Really process it, take it to heart, remember the feel that comes with the A-Ha.

It might just change your whole being.  Those insights are our soul's way of reaching out to us, of letting us know who we really are, what we really need. 

I hope that you get many light bulb moments in your life.  I encourage you to cultivate the space you need to receive those messages in whatever way works for you.  Be it yoga, meditation, being in nature, daydreaming, or just quiet time.

Thanks for reading.  Keep in touch.

Warmly,

Denise

When we have a lack of focus, nothing gets done well.  You can't be a present and connected parent, boss, spouse, daughter, co-worker or whatever other role you may have without focus.

Focus is key to our success in love, money, and health, or another way to look at is basically having the life you want to live.

And we all have a choice...

Is it important enough for me to pay attention and cultivate that focus? 

For some, the answer is NO.  Some may prefer to deny, manipulate truth, put on the happy face, pretend that everything is OK.

Don't get me wrong finding focus takes courage and effort.  You have to have the courage to look at your life and analyze what is working and what is not honestly and openly. 

Once you have that realization, you have to put the effort into making the changes to move forward in your life.  You might have to have difficult conversations with those around you, you might have to accept where you are failing, you might have to recognize what habits and beliefs are holding you back.

This is NOT AN EASY PATH...but it is necessary for change to happen.  And boy change does not happen quick enough for most of us to keep going.

I am here to tell you TIME IS ON YOUR SIDE, but TIME CAN BE AGAIST YOU AS WELL.  This little catch 22 is difficult to deal with.  Time keeps on ticking.  If you realized that little actions today will and can make big changes in your life later, maybe even much later, than you get it.

Going for a 15 minute walk today instead of  insert your favorite way to waste time: FB, tweeting, watching TV, whatever.

Eating that orange today instead of insert your favorite junk food.

Going to a therapist today to help you get rid of insert what you need to let go of that is toxic in your life.

All these things take time and effort.  You are making little deposits of health, wealth, and well being each time you choose to take this little actions each day.

These actions move you forward.  And will change your life.  But you have to have the focus and you have to have the courage, and you have to do the work, BUT a LITTLE EVERYDAY will make a big difference, so I'm here to tell you, you can do it! 

There are many ways to cultivate that focus

• Write down what's important to you
• Meditate
• Go to yoga
• Ask someone to keep you accountable
• Work with a professional: coach, therapist
• Exercise
• Laugh with you family
• Do one thing at a time
• Be positive

Find out what works for you and do a little bit everyday!

I promise you that TIME IS REALLY ON YOUR SIDE and you can do it!

Love,

Denise

Let There Be Light
 
Recently, as I helped set up class for another teacher, I took a few moments to light a long line of candles. As I did so I found myself watching quite closely to see what it looks like when the wick lights...what can I see that tells me the candle is lit? I see a bit more brightness, just a bit more light. Sometimes a tiny and slightly separate flame appears. It only takes a few seconds, and the signs of the new light are small, but visible if I watch and wait, even if only briefly.
 
As I was doing this, it occurred to me that this is a bit like teaching someone something new or sharing an idea or a belief with someone that is new to them.

Like connecting minds or hearts. I let my mind imagine teaching a child in particular and think about how you see the light of understanding appear.

What are the signs...head nodding, smiling, taking on the learning themselves. So like a candle, I felt kind of amazed. Yes, just like the small signs of the unlit candle taking on flame. The child or person, whoever you are talking to or teaching, shows small signs of taking in what you extend, the light begins to show. Then they take on the flame themselves, the signs of a separate light, they repeat, or take on the activity.  They start to tie their own shoe, or say “yeah I know what you mean.” Of course in yoga class we see this and do this all the time.
 
As I moved from candle to candle I noticed that once lit, when I removed the lighter, the flame diminished and flickered a bit as it took hold. This was especially true for the new candles that had never been lit before. The ones whose wick was used a bit took the flame quickly. But did I need to take the lighter back to these candles?

No, we know we don't. At least not right away. This also seems like human connection to me. Where we had connected with light before, the light takes again quickly. Where we are setting the flame for the first time it takes a moment, and it is natural that when left to itself, unsupported the new light diminishes a bit as it builds on its own. But give it a few seconds, and it will. 
 
Also, just like teaching and learning, the child or student left on their own wavers in their new skill or thinking, leave them to find their own resources or strength, their own oxygen, and their flame will burn bright as well. But you must watch, because if the flame dies, it will need to be lit again. 
 
And there are all kinds of candles, right?

Sometimes the candle is burned way down in its container and you have to turn it on its side and reach your light far inside to get it to light…some people are like this. If you are outside or face a breeze or other disturbing forces, you have to protect the light with your hand to transfer it from one to another.

So interesting…makes me think about how we transfer our light from one to another. And how and whether we remain to let the flame grow or light it again.
 
But what about me? Who lights my flame? If my light diminishes or burns out, do I have someone watching who can relight the flame? Am I doing the same for others? Holding light available, watching with patience, but still nearby, available to offer light again, but trusting others to shine with their own flame.
 
And what about the cardinal candle rule…never leave unattended! Do we do that to each other? Are we watching? Are we present? Is someone attending us…are we attending ourselves?

Maybe this is a good simple life rule...Light with Care and never leave unattended. 

What do you think?  Please share below in the comment sections so we can all learn from each other.

Namaste,

Leslie

Gifts to Give

We all give many gifts to this world big and small.

When we give our gifts freely and honestly we are being true to ourselves.

When we hold back our gifts because of insecurity, doubt, shame, or any other reason….
 We die a little on the inside.

Gifts we give can make our light glow brighter.

When that happens and others truly see us in that light, we give others the courage to be bright and shiny as well.

It also gives us the energy to keep giving.

On the other hand, we have to be open to receive gifts from others as well.

When we receive gifts, it also refuels us while kindling that light in others.

Do you need practice in one or both of these areas?

I think sometimes we might be very one sided…giving too much and not being open to receiving. Or taking too much and not giving all that we have to give.

Finding that balance helps to create balance with others and within ourselves.

What area do you need to focus on? Giving? Receiving? Both?
How will you do it?

Share your comments below so we can all learn from each other…

Yours in giving and receiving,

Denise