A text message can stab you like a knife. Egos are terribly fragile entities. They can be broken in an instant. It could be a look, a word that is spoken, or a written message that makes your heart sink. Who knows why certain things trigger us at certain times? I just know that it happens to everyone. And it is a palpable feeling in your body when it does happen.
In my past, I might choose to stuff those feelings down when they arise. Today I decided to feel it completely. This is no picnic. I noticed actual constriction in my heart and throat. That really was uncomfortable. It hurt a little or more than a little dare I say. There was a sting of tears in my eyes. I felt it all and let the tears come. My reaction to this interaction was exaggerated for sure. But it was how I was feeling.
It was not even a terrible message. There was no direct attack or confrontation. My mind and habitual doubts came up automatically. Old feelings of hurt and rejection are there sometimes even when we are not conscious of them.
This experience gave me an opportunity to let go, even just a little bit, of past feelings and hurt, that were living in my mind and body. Those feelings and hurt are deeply rooted in our beliefs and come up from time to time. For me it’s that feeling of not being quite good enough.
Just feeling and releasing those stuck emotions and beliefs are important work that we must do to move forward in our lives. As I sit on my yoga mat and write this down, I feel a deeper healing taking place inside of me. There is a shift in perspective within me.
It’s OK to feel the sting of a word, message, or look…to really feel it and process it. I give thanks for the opportunity to face this little challenged within me today. Thank you to the person who allowed me to process this information right here, right now… even though it was raw pain…increasing, building...then with awareness fading away.
Feel the knife when it stabs you. Release the pain and get a new perspective, but speak your truth if it’s right for you. Sometimes you need to say…yeah that kinda did hurt my feelings….I’ve been teaching my kids this since they were little and I think it is a good practice in and of itself. By saying so, it helps me to release any negativity surrounding an event. It’s not the person’s fault you are feeling what you are feeling. It is a valuable glimpse into your “own stuff” that needs and wants to be resolved.
Ego is a fragile thing. It needs to be cracked every once in a while. Share your comments below so we all can learn from each other.
This blog is a reflection of things going on my life and the world around us. Through yoga we always try to look at things in a different light!