Feeling Heavy. Searching for Light. By: Denise Orsulak

I am feeling the pull of despair in my throat and heart.
Both seem to be sinking.  

An invisible pull downward and inward perhaps with suffering and sorrow.

And it’s OK.
It’s Ok to notice and feel.
It’s OK to be worried and anxious.

It’s all OK.  I tell myself again.

Everyone feels this way sometimes.

I sit and I notice.
I take deep breaths and sigh.
I know this too shall pass.

So I write and think and do what I can and have energy for and I rest and take the time I need to build back up again for I am always whole, no matter what thoughts pass through my mind or what feelings want to tug me under.

I am whole and so are you…

Remember this with all your heart and soul.

When I share my truth, the heaviness lifts.

Thank You for listening and hearing me without fixing it.

When I move my body the cord begins to soften, the grip is not so tight.

There is a lightness just around the corner in my heart if I notice and allow….

I wrote this last November, but have been feeling this way again the last few days.   This happens from time to time.  We all have dark days.  It's impossible not to. 

Holidays are hard for me sometime and maybe they are hard for you too.  Holidays bring the past and future to us.  They pull us out of the present quite a bit.  Anticipation comes: what to eat, who to buy for, how you will spend your precious hours off?  Who will you visit and when?  Juggling.  Bending.  Compromising.  Sometime pretending.  

So again I noticed and allowed.  I felt it and those feelings sucked.  I told someone my feelings they didn't try to fix it and I was grateful.  And again the darkness started to lift.  

Can you notice and allow? Can you find someone to share these feelings with? What might help you get to that place where you can notice and allow?

Please share your thoughts and comments below so we can all learn from each other!

With love,

Denise